Chockablock Plus One :-)

Last Friday night, David and I made martini's and sat on the patio. It is so fun to have time where we can both relax, talk about our busy weeks and drink cranberry martini's. :-) Most evenings, David asks me, "so, did you hear from anyone today?" This particular day I had been facebooked (now a verb) from Ter who requested a blog. David was like, "what?! A blog?" Apparently I had forgotten to mention this site to him. Looking back, it makes sense. I mean, usually my blogs are not filled with puppies and flowers and (gasp!) I have been to known to write when I am annoyed or p-o'd. As you can imagine, the remainder of the night was filled with me reading my blogs to David aloud outside on the patio. At the end of the evening, he asked me if I would write a blog about us...so most blogs from now on will include my hubby :-). I am sure that I will have to change the title since David is really not chockablock full of contradictions and is actually quite the opposite but that will come with time.

If I could vote anyone off the Island...

I know it takes all kinds of people to make this world work but sometimes, sometimes I wish people would just listen to themselves and hear how stupid and f'd up they are! Yesterday was Easter and I had perhaps the best Easter I have had since leaving home. Holidays are tough when you live far from family but yesterday I had a traditional Easter minus the family and the cheesy potatoes (which are really yum, by the way!).

Before I tell you the whole story, I have to tell you some background--not because it is pertinent to the story at all but just because I want to introduce you to someone. I met David (pronounced Daaaaavid because he is a good ole Southern boy), my special friend (ha! I think that sounds funny) on eharmony of all places!! Remember I said that i would never ever ever do that again? Well, I did and I met someone. He is not creepy and does not have an extra eye or bad teeth or anything. He is actually really very normal and attractive and sweet. Who knew?! Thank you Neil Clark Warren, thank you!

So Easter was spent with David. We went to church at his church in a place far far away from my house. It was my first time in a Methodist church and I have to say, I loved it. The preacher was incredible and they sang Hillsongs Worship songs, which of course sold me. So after church David and I went to lunch and ate hamburgers which is totally Easter food ;-) and basically just spent the day together. It was so nice and relaxing and interesting. I like learning about David.

When I got home from my Easter day with David, I grabbed my phone out of my purse and guess what? I had four missed calls from Scott, the ex!!! I mean, what on earth could be so important that he couldn't leave a message? So immediately I think the worst--his parents died, something happened to his sisters, blah, blah, blah. So I call him. I know, I shouldn't have but I did. He answers and I immediately ask him where the fire is, to which he responds that he was calling to tell me that he is never going to call me again.

(Pregnant pause...just let his insanity sink in)

Scott, you are officially voted off the Island!!! Please just grab two things and go! WTF???!!!! I mean, doesn't just not calling ever again seem like a more manly way of handling things? I just think that *calling me* to tell me that you are *never calling me again* is a bit odd.

In response, though, I said, "okay, Scott. Take care." (read: what the f ever you mangy dirt bag).

Plunger Owner seeks romance at Lowes

I have been feeling lately like I might be invisible to the opposite sex-- like perhaps God put some sort of special Harry-Potter-esque-frock on my person that prevents men from seeing me. I mean, literally men walk into me without stopping. I get bumped into in overly spacious rooms without so much as an "um, oops" or "dude, sorry." I feel like I could be standing naked at a stop light (I have NO idea why I would be naked at a stop light) and no one would even think twice or notice. Last night, though, my worst fear was confirmed. I am not invisible to all men. God has, for some reason, removed the frock for the men at Lowes. Yay! (biting sarcasm here).

After a long day (10 hours) of work at the running store, I remembered that I had a bit of a "situation" at home. Please note that this has never, ever, ever happened to me before but yesterday morning, on my out the door, the toilet overflowed!! It has threatened to overflow before but just enough to scare me. The water would rise up almost to the tippy-top of the toilet and then go back down again. When this has happened in the past, I stand and watch the water rise and then at the precise moment the water goes back down, I do a fist pump in the air and then go on with my life. Yesterday morning, my life changed dramatically: the toilet called my bluff! As I was standing over, anxiously watching, the water rose to the tippy-top which was not cause for alarm but then, the water rose past the tippy-top and out onto the floor in an angry rush! The water covered the floor in seconds flat. "What do I do, what do I do?" I ran around screaming and then turned the water off with the turny-thing next to the toilet. I didn't even know which way to turn it--instinct must have just taken over (notice how proud I am of myself for doing this, though) :-)

So, ten hours later, I am completely haggard and walk into Lowes with my short, black running skirt, running shoes and Nike tee that reads, "My fast is faster" (whatever that means). Up and down the plumbing aisles I weave in search of the item my Dad says "everyone should have" and I "should have bought years ago": a plunger.

Finally, a man, Tyrone, comes up to me and asked me if I needed help finding anything. I told him what I was looking for and he says almost under his breath, "you're beautiful." Um, okay, I know I should be grateful that he can see me or whatever but I AM BUYING A PLUNGER here! This is NOT the time to hit on me. I tried to stick to the subject at hand until he told me that he would like to take me to supper and some clubs. If you know me, you know that I am not exactly a club person. Perhaps it is my complete inability to dance to music other than classical. Perhaps it is the fact that I learned some dance moves in third grade at the school Sock Hop (don't laugh) and still employ them when the situation arises. Basically, I am no club-goer.

I finally told Tyrone that my boyfriend would be upset with me for attending the club function with him and that I would have to, respectfully, decline his invitation. Plunger in hand, I left the Lowes, went home and fixed my toilet-all by my lonesome.

Back to Blogging

Why haven't I been blogging in six months, you ask? Well, I have been busy--that is the simple answer. The detailed answer is that I was in a relationship from August until January that, surprise, did not last. While He Who Shall Remain Nameless and I were together, I did the codependent-girl-thing and didn't make time for me. I mean, I can only fully describe the extent by which I forgot about myself by telling you that I pretty much (gasp!!!) stopped running!! It was pretty horrible. By the time it was fully finished, he was fat and a jerk and I was well, I was me but the me who had stopped running.

You know that bumper sticker? The one about things being stripped away and what is left is the good stuff? I am paraphrasing here but you get the idea. Well, that bumper sticker pretty much describes my life right now. Not long after He Who Shall Remain Nameless and I abruptly ended our relationship, I lost my job. No, not the good job--not my running store job but the job that I hated anyway. I can't say why I stayed with a job that I despised for a year but I like to think of myself as the Captain of the Sinking Ship--the Captain is supposed to be the last off the ship and by golly, that is ME. :-) So the ship is sinking and I am just trying to deal with it as best I can. I "make the most of it." I am good at talking my way through a total s*it storm and acting like it is not raining poo. However, the truth is that a weaker person (ha! like I am so tough!) would have left a LOOOOONNNNNGGGG time ago--like in the second week. Scratch that--a *smarter* person, would have left after the second week.

So now, now I have time to run. I have time to blog. I even have time to clean my bathroom but am currently busy writing this blog so that will have to wait. This morning I got up and ran a bit and then came back to the condo to drink a nice cup of uber strong coffee (the craptastic job had the weakest, nastiest coffee EVER! I mean, it was brown water and people had to doctor it up best they could but I have good coffee now and that, friends, is another perk of being fired). So I am drinking coffee and who should call but someone from the despicable job. I answer the phone and because I live in the Age of the Iphone and The Age of Modern Technology, I KNOW who is calling while the phone is ringing. I pick it up, "hello?" and Angie, from the firm says, "Hi, Sara, it's Angie. You know, Angie from "Shister and A-hole's R Us Law Firm"? (she said the real name, mind you).

A little background here. It won't take much but I should tell you that I was fired (I prefer the term, "Extricated by God" on Friday. It is now Thursday. In the six days since I was fired, I have, to my knowledge, not suffered any head injuries. Nor have I, to my knowledge, began taking mind altering substances. I have not, to my knowledge, been abducted by aliens nor have I submitted to scientific experimentation in any way. So, basically, the chances of me forgetting the name of one of my coworkers in an office of, say twenty-five, in the span of six days, is not likely. Angie: if you should call my cell again, you can just say, "Hi, this is Angie." You do not have to tell me where you work or give me any type of contextual bookmark so that I can place you. Thanks.

Friends, I am back to blogging.

Love,
Sara

Running from?

Tomorrow my friend Megan and I are running 18 miles before work. Why would we do this, you ask? Well, we are training for the Hot to Trot 8 Hour Fun Run. As I write this, the Jenny Owen Youngs song, "What the F* was I Thinking" is playing. Hmm...coincidence? I don't think so. :-)

Makeover: Life Edition or Countdown to my thirtieth birthday

When I was in South Africa in March, my sister in law said to me, "your thirtieth birthday is only 18 months away. What are you going to do?" At the time, my answer was something like, "I am going to have my twenty-ninth birthday and then celebrate my thirtieth--in that order." But now I realize her question was much larger. With my BIG 3-0 looming in the near future (okay, November 13, 2009), I have some things in my life that I want to change and now is a good time to start with the goal of having them accomplished before my big day. Here is my list:

First, I want to take a photography class and start taking pictures. Sure, I take pictures for fun but I think I might be good at it if actually given the opportunity and I want to cultivate that creativity. Along with this goal, I will have to same some cash so that i can purchase a nicer camera because we all know Annie Lebowitz does not look to her Kodak Sure Shot or whatever when taking pictures of Angelina Jolie (not that I will take a picture of Angeline Jolie but I might--the world is my oyster!).

Second, I want to change jobs. My job is a "joe job" meaning that any Joe off the street could do it. I mean, my job doesn't exactly take much brain power nor am I using my degree (but who does?) nor is a college degree even required to do my job which really bothers me. I want to do something I am passionate about but don't exactly know what that thing is exactly but that is what this time is all about, right?!

Third, I have a bit of an eating problem. I know that sounds strange like "I have a bit of cancer" but to not go into huge detail at this juncture, that is something that I am currently working on. While I don't think that eating problems necessarily have distinct ends to them but are more of a journey, I think that this time before my thirtieth will be a good time to focus on the problem and then hopefully it will be under control by my thirtieth.

Fourth, I would like to beef up my savings account and have an emergency fund a la Dave Ramsey and, more importantly I would like to be out of credit card debt entirely by my thirtieth. This is a very attainable goal especially with my second job starting soon.

So, the countdown begins. I have a little bit less than 18 months to get my life in order.

Here I stand and there goes the bus

Lately I've been having this feeling--like I've missed the bus.  Only in this instance, the "bus" is life.  Not life as in life or death but life as in "my friends are married and have babies and I am single with a dog."  I am not discounting my life or my accomplishments because I love where I live and I enjoy my work and I have run a few marathons but I still have this feeling like maybe my tape is on pause while everyone else's seems to be moving steadily along.  

I don't always feel this way but tonight as I stood on the back steps listening to my neighbor tell me about her nose job that she will be getting this summer, I looked at her and couldn't imagine what this girl could possibly tweak to look better than she already does.  And then I got to wondering, "where does she have money to get a nose job?!"  (As a side note, the latter question is one that comes from listening to hours upon hours of Dave Ramsey on public radio and promising to "act my wage" and pay cash for e-very-thing.)  This thinking only lead me to be silently jealous of people with double incomes and then, THEN I got to thinking about how I am not a half of a double income and THEN I realized "oh yeah, I am single.  That's right."  It is a vicious cycle.  A vicious cycle indeed.  

I guess, if I am honest, I also feel this way because every time, or nearly every time, I open my email there is yet another engagement anouncement or another baby being born to another happy couple--a happy dual income couple, at that.  

I realize that this blog looks a lot like sulking and I know I didn't send invites to my pity party but here I stand and over there, there is the bus.  The bus that I seem to have missed.