The Chopping Block

Have you ever had to "write off" a friend? I have never been in this position before but I have had a friend for several years who appears to be on the chopping block (so to speak).

It is strange. One moment, we were inseperable and now I can't even summon up enough care to drive across town for her. It is odd but I think after being treated poorly by her for a while, I could now give two sh*ts (to put it bluntly). No matter what, though, I am sad for the loss of the friendship we once had.

Four years ago, E. and I moved to Georgia together. It was an incredible experience. She was healing from a breakup in Colorado that left her spinning and I was searching for my career by taking more and more graduate level classes after quitting law school in Virginia. Needless to say, we were attached at the hip. We borrowed each others clothes and lived like sisters. We finished each other's thoughts, cooked together...sometimes it was hard to know where I ended and she began. But then something happened that changed it all.

For the first and last time in my life, I played matchmaker. I set E. up with J., a former law school classmate and they hit it off. Within months they were in love, spending all of their time together. Within the year, they were married. As the months passed, our friendship began to dwindle. I always thought that a healthy marriage consisted of each of you continuing to place imporatance on your individual friendships but apparently this is where she and I part ways.

I remember her wedding as if it were my own and that is only because I considered it *that* important. Interestingly enough, now that I am getting married, she is nowhere to be found. When I announced my engagement to her, all she did was send a text saying "wow! That is fast!" Thanks for your unsolicited critique but a "congratulations" really would have sufficed.

In May, E. and J. welcomed their first baby into the world. I received a text saying that they were going to the hospital. I texted back to *call* me when they could have visitors. I never heard back. Since then I have called a few times to say hello and ask if I could meet the baby but am talking to her voicemail and the calls are never returned. On occasion, I hear from her on Facebook and it is usually an "I like" thumbs-up after my status. Thanks.

So last night I did something I would have never imagined: I erased her number from my phone. I can't be the one making all the effort and I certainly cannot keep a friendship afloat on my own. So, I guess this is what giving a friend the old heave-ho looks like.

Friends, I would like you to meet David, my plus one.

David and I met on eHarmony in March and are getting married not this Tuesday but next! It is interesting because when I met David, I was not that interested in him. I think I was at a point in my dating life where I wasn't trying to get my heart broken and would do ANYTHING to avoid that feeling in my stomach and the pain in my chest. David and I met for lunch after talking online for a couple of weeks. When we met for the first time, I thought he was very sweet but just wasn't sure. David, on the other hand, called his sister, mom and brother in law after our first date telling them that I was "the One." :-) No, it took me a bit longer but I think that is good. I was so used to meeting guys and feeling that instant click only to have it fizzle after a few dates. With David, things were different. I was interested in getting to know him. I actually wanted to study him like I would a class in school.

Our third date really solidified things for me. David and I took our dogs to the dog park at Freedom Park. We stayed outside for hours regardless of the rain and wind :-) At one point, I stood behind David and noticed how tall and strong he was. I realized then that I was attracted to him (very attracted to him) which I hadn't really honed in on before because I wanted to know the man inside the hot bod. :-)

It has been a whirlwind romance and on August 11, 2009 on the beach in Talbot Island, Florida, i will promise myself to David for all of our days. I will promise to love him even when he is a jerk and be faithful to him always. I will promise to put his happiness before my own and to be more concerned with his well being than my own (and he will promise the same for me).

Friends, it has been a long journey of dating slime ball after slime ball. The road has certainly been a broken one. But now that I know where that road was headed and that the final destination was into the arms of David Morrison, I am more than grateful. Thanks for reading and sharing the laughter and the tears. I cannot wait to share our married life with you. I am honored to introduce you to my plus one. :-)

Chockablock Plus One :-)

Last Friday night, David and I made martini's and sat on the patio. It is so fun to have time where we can both relax, talk about our busy weeks and drink cranberry martini's. :-) Most evenings, David asks me, "so, did you hear from anyone today?" This particular day I had been facebooked (now a verb) from Ter who requested a blog. David was like, "what?! A blog?" Apparently I had forgotten to mention this site to him. Looking back, it makes sense. I mean, usually my blogs are not filled with puppies and flowers and (gasp!) I have been to known to write when I am annoyed or p-o'd. As you can imagine, the remainder of the night was filled with me reading my blogs to David aloud outside on the patio. At the end of the evening, he asked me if I would write a blog about us...so most blogs from now on will include my hubby :-). I am sure that I will have to change the title since David is really not chockablock full of contradictions and is actually quite the opposite but that will come with time.