Internet Dating: news from the trenches

I never thought finding love would be like this.  I know, I know, "when you aren't looking is when you find it."  I just always thought that I would meet someone whilst stopped at a red light.  I look over and he is looking at me.  I smile subtly at first but then when I realize he is looking at me, the smile broadens.  Maybe my eyes even dance like they are supposed to when one meets the father of her unborn children for the first time.  But no.  Usually, when I look to my left at a red light I see old men or women doing their make-up in the rear view mirror, which is why I decided that desperate times call for desperate measures...

Enter Eharmony, one of the many online dating sites.  You pay an exorbitant amount per month and you can meet people online.  On Valentine's Day after spending the day hearing about how all of my married friends were spending their evenings, I decided to check it out.  

I am not new to this however, just a little bit bruised.  You see, last year, I decided to try match.com, eharmony's nemesis.  This was a short-lived experience; however, because after filling out all of my information, I waited to see my "number one match" who actually matched me 98%.  I scrolled down, feeling pretty excited about who I would meet.  My "mouse hand" was even a little bit sweaty as I waited with anticipation only to find that my number one match was actually physically and mentally disabled.  I love to celebrate the differences and I delight in everyone's equality but when it comes to dating, I have to be honest, I felt like this somehow reflected poorly on me.  My mom was like, "what did you write?  Did you just say, I like to run (because match.com matches you according to what you say about yourself)?"  Turns out, no matter who was at fault for that one (no I did not use simple sentence structure), I needed a bigger boost of confidence than match.com could possibly provide.  Needless to say, I have not been on that site since.  

As I write this, I am not sure why I chose to try eharmony considering what happened when I last tempted the online dating gods but I guess I had heard friends talk about it and bought into the hype that "everyone is dating online."  

Eharmony, funnily enough can be broken down like this: e+harm+money (okay, so I cheated and added an extra m) = you are paying for pain online.  Take for example the fact that today, a vampire-esque looking male told me that he did not wish to get to know me (he "closed" me for all you online daters out there) because (and I LOVE this reason) the chemistry is just not there.  Um, can I beg to ask the million dollar question, Frankenstein?  Is the chemistry ever there with anyone when it comes to you???  I am going to bet not.  

I feel like I have to say this for all of you out there who are channeling my mother: I know that looks do not last.  I am aware that beauty fades.  I understand that the "spark" is not indicative of a lasting relationship.  I know.  But for some reason, my Shallow Hall comes forth sometimes when I am on a date and I almost gag at the thought of kissing the man across the table from me with the black beans for teeth.  I mean, attraction has to count for something--how else will we populate the planet and make sure that my mom has more photos in her brag book?